Well, we're here today to see what kind of hell Link lives in. Well, here we go.

Me: So Link, what's the first thing you do when you wake up?

Link: Haven't you noticed I never go to sleep? I take pills that give me dhiarrea so I can stay up all night.

Me: Makes sense... why don't you ever go to sleep?

Link: Why not?

Me: Never mind. What's the first thing yo do when everyone else wakes up?

Link: What else? Go on some new craptacular adventure in Termina or Hyrule or Cuba. Ya gotta love those cigars.

Me: what do you do on your adventures?

Link: What don't I do?

Me: Well, for one, you don't have sex. I mean, c'mon, the least Zelda could do for your after saving her for the 1000th time is to let you have some.

Link: True. I mean, if Ganon and Rauru can get some, why not me?

Me: (vomits) Don't mention Ganon and Rauru again. For the sake of the world.

Link: I guess you're right... ugh... so continue with the wuestions

Me: So what do you do after your adventuring is done?

Link: Go to the Milk Bar in Termina and mix booze and drugs into the milk. You don't know how many times the bar manager has stripped...

Me: AAAAAAAH! So what do you do after that?

Link: What else? Vandalise all over! Blow up houses! Kill people! Eat cheese! Crossdress! That's the best part of the day!

Me: So you're a transvestite?

Link: Hell yes! I wear a dress for crying out loud!

Me: And after that...

Link: Take my dhiarrea pills... repeat the cycle... but this time, I'm gonna make sure I get laid by the Milk Bar Manager!

Me: No, don't even think about it...

Link: No, I think I'll stick with the Milk Bar Manager

Me: Well, this has been a truly disturbing experience for me. I think I'll leave now...

(Anyway, I get killed as usual now and start making threatening phone calls to Bill Gates. Hope you enjoyed this edition of Zelda Humour!)