The Dating Game:
Me: I'm writing from the pits of hell to bring you another Zelda Humour thing. This time we have everyones favourite game: The Dating Game! Now get in the flask!
Our first contestant is once again: Link!

Link: Look at my sexy body!

Me: Our second contestant is Ganon!

Ganon: I am the ruler of Hyrule!!!!!!

Me: And our third contestant is the old gay Rauru.

Rauru: In the 7 years you were locked away in the Temple of Time, oh great hero Link-

Me: You know stuff. Good for you. And the person who needs some sex is: Zelda!
For those of you who don't know how the game works, here's how:
Zelda doesn't know who the three contestants are. She'll ask them questions, and whoever she likes the best she'll sleep wi- I mean go out to a fancy restaurant, due to the fact most of our contestants are ugly. Now let's start the game! Zelda, what's the first question?

Zelda: What is your favourite thing to do?

Me: Contestant #1?

Link: Smoke pot

Me: Contestant #2?

Ganon: Pick you flowers!

Me: That's sweet

Ganon: Death flowers that will kill Link! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Me: Contestant #3?

Rauru: I enjoy standing in the Chamber of Sages doing nothing while sending Link out to do work.

Me: Second question, Zelda???

Zelda: What's your idea of a nice date?

Me: Contestant #1?

Link: First we go for a nice meal at the dumpster. Than we hang out with junkies until were stoned. After that, the drugs will decide the rest.

Me: Contestant #2?

Ganon: Kill Link with my power and then eat his brains for supper. After that we can destroy and eat Hyrule! I love cannibalism!

Me: That's disturbing. Don't make me go crazy again. Contestant #3?

Rauru: We stand in the Chamber of Sages doing nothing while sending out Link to do all the work.

Me: Third and final question. Zelda?

Zelda: What's the most important part of love?

Me: #1?

Link: Doing drugs together.

Me: #2?

Ganon: Killing and eating human brains together

Me: #3?

Rauru: Standing around in the Chamber of Sages doing nothing while sending out Link to do work.

Me: Very good people, but you forgot the most important thing: SEX! Anyway, which contestant do you want to go out with Zelda?

Zelda: Hmmm... I have a choice between a junkie, a cannibal, and a gay idiot. I guess I choose the cannibal!

Link: But I reserved a special room for you!

Me: Where?

Link: The Betty Ford Clinic!

Me: I see... anyway, congratulations Ganon!

Ganon: Yes! Someone to eat brains with!

Rauru: Oh well. I guess I could give me and King Zora a chance.

Me: Ugh...

Zelda: Let's start by eating that annoying announcer!

Me: No, not the brain!

Hmm... What is it with me and getting killed in these humor things? Well, back to hell. I'll see you all they're soon.