One day, Link was smoking cuban cigars with some Cantanese Noodles when he noticed how popular him and his brand of skirts were. Therefore, Link began to take advantage of this. His pride grew and so did his evil... Until he became a creature so evil that none could recognise. He even got a new name. His new name was Bill Gates.
Well, Billy Bob Gates (as I call him) invented this evil little coputer/skirt company called Microsoft. He made billions of rupees off this bad quality crap.
But one day, he went a step too far. He started closing down all other computer companies. At the same time, him and Ganon got married and had 29 kids, who were all named "Billy Bob Joe Foe."
Well anyway, one day, Link decided to check out what was going on in the Kokiri Forest.
When he got there, what he sawwas very evil, but since Billy Bob Gates was evil, he liked what he saw a lot.
What he saw was very terrible. So very terrible. Can you guess what it was. Well I'll tell you, you impatient %$#@.
A frog was doing the Chicken Dance.
The Chicken Dance was only meant to be done by chickens and kids named Brahm. No one else did it. It was just something you didn't do.
Well, Billy Bob Gates smoked some cigars with this frog, and learned that this was actually a half chicken-half frogs, and, thanks to that damn George W. Bush's decisions, half chickens half frogs were allowed to do the chicken dance.
So what followe in the next 2 years was a lot of chicken and frog dances. At this time, the Hippie Dance was invented and was the fad at Hyrule Castle, unless you were a stoner (a.k.a everyone in Hyrule and Zelda, who smokes 40 grams a day). The end
Basically, the moral of this story is that chickens have funny dances. Thank you.
***********************************************************
LOZ: Link's Schizo problem (Me, Myself and Some Dude Named Higaba).
After Link had saved Hyrule from Ganon, he decided to go on a trip to Jamaica to visit his best friend, Higaba. Higaba was the president of Jamaica. Link got off the airplane and saw him. But there was one thing Higaba didn't know. Link was a schizo.
"Hey Link," said Higaba. "How are you?"
"I'm ok," replied Link. "And you?"
"Well," said Higaba. "Those damn Americans are after me again for smuggling weed into the U.S. Damn Americans... Also, I'm paying this funny Mexican guy to dance in my home. Wanna see him?"
"Maybe a bit later," said Link. "But I have something to tell you. I'm a schizo."
"How do you know?" Said Higaba.
"Because when I was making love to my gay lover he told me that schizos were funny, and since I was a schizo, I was funny. He told me that I become my second personality when I become angry."
"Ha ha, said Higaba. "Look at the damn schizo."
"Ahh... crap... I'm getting angry," said Link. "No! I'm becoming... JOE!"
(Rocky Horror Picture Show music starts playing.)
"HA HA! Yelled Joe. "BILL GATES IS TRYING TO KILL ME! I'LL KILL HIM FIRST!"
Well, Joe ran into a room and started burning everything. Higaba could hear his words, as he was being burned to death.
"DAMN YOU BILL GATES! DAMN YOU!"
(Joe switches back to Link and Rocky Horror Picture Show music starts playing.)
"AHH! I'm burning! Higaba, as a last request, come in here and strip for me!"
And very foolishly Higaba came in and stripped. But him and Link were burned. The end. |
